Was Brave . . . Brave Enough?

So, I just saw the movie Brave last weekend in the theater.  Did I like it?  Yes, I liked it.  Did I love it?  No . . . no, I didn't love it.  And that's sad.  Because I really, really wanted to love it.  It's a PIXAR film, and who doesn't love PIXAR?

Every PIXAR movie I have ever seen has been wonderful, and I truly love their movies, like Toy Story 3, Up, and Wall-E.  I didn't see Cars 2 though, but could you blame me.  The movie got a dismal, totally bad rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  What was that score you may ask?  38%!  WHAT!  I'll repeat.  38%!!!  How? I don't know, but come on, before Cars 2 came out, I thought it was virtually impossible for an animated movie to get less than a 70% rating from Rotten Tomatoes, however I am aware that there are those select few animated films that are incredibly bad, which to keep them from further shame I will not mention them.  But for PIXAR, you might of as well have given the movie a 0%, that would be it's equivalent.  Okay, enough of Cars 2, and it's apparent suckiness.  We were talking about Brave a minute ago, let's get back to that.

So, Brave, liked it, didn't love it.  What was wrong with it?  What lacked in it that made me not feel the Disney magic?  Was it a well made story?  Yep.  Was there good funny characters?  Yep.  Was there action?  Yep.  Did it have a good message?  Yep, it had a great message.  Then what is going on?  Thinking about it more and more.  Maybe the story feels a bit . . . um . . . generic.  I wanted out there Disney.  I wanted primetime Disney.  I wanted Wall-E Disney.  I wanted to be on the edge of my seat.  I wanted to jump with joy.  I wanted to feel the true Disney magic of riding on a roller coaster of emotion and feeling.  I wanted unique.  I wanted special.  And Brave.  Even though good.  Even though entertaining.  Even though funny.  Wasn't Disney at their best.  And that left me unfulfilled.  The last line to be narrated before the credits was: "Our fate lives within us.  You only have to be brave enough to see it."  I believe it.  I just wish PIXAR still believed.  They used to be the pioneers in the animation businesses.  Now, they are so Hollywood . . . running on sequels . . . and making movies relying on their name!  Please, Monsters 2, don't be a rendition of Cars 2.  Bring back Disney/PIXAR magic!

The Best Fast Food Burger in Rochester

So, over the course of last week, I decided I needed to find out which burger was the best burger to get in Rochester in under 2 minutes.  I didn't have a stop watch, but the burger better be in my hands before whatever song was blasting on the radio came to a close.

The journey started at McDonalds to try their Angus burger, which I have been told was a fine, succulent piece of beef.  So, in order to judge the best burger, all the burgers had to be alike.  So, my order was a burger (no cheese, there is something about American cheese that makes my tastes buds say icky!) deluxe with lettuce, tomato, onion, and mayonnaise.  The next stop was Burger King.  Then Five Guys.  And ending at Culvers, to rank their famous butterburger.  Now remember, this was over the course of a week, so I wasn't stopping at one place after the other (that would be unhealthy).

So, was it unfair that I didn't stop at Wendy's or Dairy Queen.  Maybe.  But I have an excuse.  One - I just didn't think to go to Wendy's.  Two - if I go to Wendy's it's not to get a burger (hello, Frosty!).  And three - the Dairy Queen's in Rochester are not the place to get anything except for maybe a blizzard (I'm sorry, but if a DQ doesn't have a chicken strip basket on their menu, then what does that say about the quality of their burger?).

So, then how did the taste test go for the four that I did go to?  Well, McDonald's was absolutely AWFUL.  It was the most disgusting thing I have EVER eaten.  The Angus burger there is like trying to eat a floor rug to decorate a fine kitchen.  It's only saving grace was that it was drowned in mayo, because everything about the actual burger made me want to throw the thing out the window.  I am getting nauseous just thinking about it.  It was the most chewiest piece of meat I have eaten in my life.  Forget about the burger being fast, one bit will take more than a half-hour to even cut it down to stomach requirements.  I am certain if I inspected the burger further, it would be a patty of the toughest beef jerky, instead of a moist patty of meat.  Please, stay away from the Angus, get the McDouble.

So, what about Burger King.  Yum!  I like burger king burgers.  It was a big burger, but the difference between the Whopper and the Angus, was that the whopper was moist and melted in your mouth on a cloud full of mayo.  The Angus burger is nothing but a wood board disguised as a beef patty (watch your teeth!).  I feel like the Whopper is the way a fast food burger should be, covered gloriously in toppings, on top of a burger that melts like chocolate (what more could you ask for in a burger?).

So, then what happened at Five Guys?  Did I like their burger?  The thing about Five Guys, is that yes, their burger is moist, but then the whole sandwich is moist.  When I teared away the aluminum foil casing over the double deluxe (without cheese!), I actually thought my burger had went for a swim.  I honestly wanted to know if it did a dive, a cannon ball, or a triple flip before it landed into the deep end of the pool.  I find it unappetizing when a burger has more grease on the outside bun than the most unhealthiest of pizzas.  And on another note . . . Five Guys burgers make me queasy after I'm done with them . . . ishy.

Then the journey comes to Culvers and the butter burger.  I used to like Culvers so much.  When I was younger, I used to get the double burger deluxe, an order of onion rings, cheese curds, and a chocolate malt.  Now days, I usually just get a single scoop chocolate custard in a waffle cone.  So, not having the double burger in a while, I had great hopes that it would taste how I remembered it.  Before I talk about the actually burger, has anyone else noticed the speed in which they bring out your food these days.  I remember Culvers being slow to deliver, hence the number they give you to bring out the order.  They did this because their food was fresh, not a single burger was laid down until it was ordered.  So now what?  Now the food is delivered to you, even before you have a chance to order it.  Unless they have someone working at each Culver Restaurant that can see into the future as to when and what a person is going to order, you can't be telling me their food is freshly made (but I may be wrong, and maybe I'm right!)  Okay, lets get to the burger.  There is something about it.  There is this unappetizing char to the burger, and it tasted . . . well . . . it tasted not that good.  The burger definitely doesn't taste like the best fasty burg in town.

So, as it goes, Burger King truly is king of the burger.  At least in the fast food world in Rochester.  BUT . . . if you're ever in the grand city of Rochester and are looking for truly the BEST burger in town, and you don't mind a little waiting and climbing a few stairs.  I would suggest you go to Newts, their downtown location.  Actually, there could be a reason for the stairs . . . maybe Newts is burger heaven.  

The Action Movie

So, last weekend I watched the movie Safe House.  You know, the one with Denzel and Ryan Reynolds.  I did my homework before the movie and looked up its rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  Of course, the bar isn't necessarily raised high for action movies, so a 54% rating and a splattered tomato is the perfect sign of a decent action movie.

I want to say that an action movie at least in the 40% range or above I think is at least worth checking out, except for maybe The Expendables, that movie was just bad.  So, at 54% I took the risk.  It was a good risk . . . for 54% of the movie.

The movie started out quick.  The action scenes were crisp and the acting, video-game intense.  So, what happened after 54% of the movie passed by with vicious fury?  Well, I'll tell you what happened.  Have you ever played a video game and you got to that tricky level in which you wish you bought the strategy guide to aid you to the next level.  That level in which you just can't seem to get to the next, so you happen to face the same adversaries and baddies over and over again, until you are just running through the motions until the point where your character dies and you're throwing the remote for the hundredth time.  This is the same ill-fate that seems to befall most action movies.

It's a recycled gauntlet of torture . . . for the viewer.  And you wind up going through the motions with the actors as they carry you through one similar action scene after the other.  It wears on you.  You want to care for these characters, but you can't.  You want to root for them to live . . . but it's repetitiveness makes you wish there were commercials.

So, what is the action movie to do?  Simple.  Build your story with characters.  Not brutes with guns, who only know how to shoot a gun.  Give us real feeling.  Develop the protagonist.  Make them seem somewhat human at least.  An action scene is just an action scene if there is no heart.  But an action scene with characters that we can invest in . . . well,  that's movie magic.   

Why Madagascar Takes the Cake!

I'm a movie fanatic!  I really love a good story.  That said.  Is the story for Madagascar 3 all that deep or some mind bending oh my gosh we'll be debating the importance of that message for the rest of our lives kind of story.  No . . . no, it isn't.  So what is.  Is it kitty fare hyped-up on a kilo of cat nip so all five of your senses are operating at max potential.  YES!  Yes, it is.  That is of course . . . if you're watching it in 3D.

I have come to the realization that 3D movies done proper is like riding that new roller coaster at your local theme park for the first time.  And watching that same movie in a 2D format is like riding that other ride . . . you know the one.  The one where you know all the turns, the flips, and the jolts.  The one in which you only bother to raise your hands in the air and give a whoop like you're having a good time is when you flash by the camera on the final turn, only to be disappointed that the person in front of you covered half of your face.

The 3D screen is like playing Time Crisis 4 (with an actually working gun, mind you), and the 2D screening of a legit 3D movie is like playing classic pong in the 1970's (you don't really know what your missing until you actually see there are fake bullet-ejecting guns and a foot pedal to reload.)

So, I already hear some chatter.  Like, what about the biggest opening movie ever?  The movie that is now the top grossing superhero movie of all-time?  Well, that was good too.  But.  I still give Madagascar the edge.  Maybe it's because it's the most recent movie I saw in theaters.  Maybe.  But I doubt it.

So, then what is it about this movie beyond the T2 shades that pushed it to be my favorite summer flick . . . so far?  Was it the vibrant colors?  The MI6 penguins?  Was it the talking lion with his perfect pentagonal mane and his crew of friends?  Was it the break-neck pace?  In retrospect, I think it was everything.  The movie brings you to such euphoric heights that it practically leaves you breathless!